10.17.2009

Time for a Change

   After months with the orange theme I've gotten a bit bored with the whole blogging thing as I guess you could tell from the limited posts. I decided after coming across an article from 'Make Use Of' that it was time to update not only the look but the content of my blog. Things are very strange between my ears lately.
   I know I'm putting on weight and seem helpless to do anything. I've started more than a few times to get back on the smarter eating path and quickly gotten off track. I lie in bed at night and tell myself "tomorrow I'll start" and I can be good all day and then throw the day away by snacking in the evening. I know that once winter gets here and I start walking to work it will help but with just three days a week I need more than that. For the last two years I knew to finish the cancer ride I would need to stay in better shape. Maybe I just need a goal. For now my goal is the picture on the left, when I fit that Swobo jersey and am able to wear it on a ride I'll have achieved my goal. I'm not going to worry as much about numbers or kilometers and just try to get into that jersey. I've had it for over a year and put it on briefly but never left the house in it.
   While we seem to be keeping things together financially even with my reduced work schedule, I still worry about the future. Payments are supposed to start coming in next week from UI and I'll see a bit at month's end from timekeeping. Once we're done with the truck lease that will be the last of the big monthly payment but there's still tuition to work on. These were supposed to be the years to save for that future now that the mortgage is finally paid off. Neither of us need anything extravagant but it would be great to be able to look forward to retiring, right now it scares me.
   And who the hell is that guy I see in the mirror every morning. I don't feel like it's me. I don't feel that old or that fat. But it is and I am, I can't do anything about the old but I am going to do something about the fat. Today.

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