After game one on Saturday I was disgusted, disgruntled and disappeared. A game ends early and neither team is close to ready, coaches arriving at the scene of the crime 5 minutes after the standard 15 minutes they ask from parents. For ten minutes I went for a walk. I headed for Petrie's and the refuge of hearing someone else's problems while my own were still steaming. But Farzum was busy upstairs and Nathan had few tales of the past week. No new bikes to drool over this time of year so I headed back down the street to confusion. Refs that don't understand the way we handle penalties. A brief explanation and quick solution to that one. A coach running around the end boards from the bench, here it comes. He has been after me for weeks to replace a player that has made 1 game out of 12 and 1 practice since teams were formed in late September. This week I arranged for a new player and the old one surprises everyone by showing up. The mom has done more bingos than the player has games. Dad offers the coach $100 to let her play. Surprising as they registered through ProKids. Dad meets me in the hallway and offers me an escalating bribe that ends at $10,000 to let her back on the ice, "you're breaking her heart" I'm told. Money is not the issue. I broke her heart? Maybe for one week but what about the other 10. A full refund of bingo credits in exchange for sweater and socks will be offered and I'll probably be told where to put that. Next time I'm going for a 209 minute walk.